Identity Police

So a few months back this harassment happened to me in my favorite local coffee shop. Many might not view this as harassment but I left the situation feeling pretty defeated and small. Here is the situation: I'm really excited to pick up a copy of the INCITE! anthology, The Color of Violence, from the coffee shop's bookstore. The man helping me is interested in what the book is about since he has noticed a lot of people have been ordering a copy of it. I tell him that it is about violence against women and communities of color and that I am reading it along with the organization I am in. He asks about INCITE! and I tell him it is a group made up of radical women of color. He then asks if it is open to everyone and I tell him that it is a space just for women and transfolks of color. Showing his colors as a true liberal, he discusses the danger of "exclusionary" politics and that if we want to get anywhere we all need to work together. I try to explain the significance and necessity of these spaces (ie being excluded from Civil Rights and Women's Lib in the 1970s) and how it is a safe space where we don't have to explain why we feel the way we do. He then states my favorite liberal statement: "I don't see color". After asserting that he is color blind, he goes onto ask me if I am "of color" (not a new question for me). I tell him that yes, I am Chicana. He claims that I must dye my hair then since he doesn't know of any blonde Chicanas. Well yes, but so do many other Chicanas. At this point, I'm feeling extremely violated and like I am on trial for not being brown enough. I am not able to make the connection until I leave but I soon realize that he contradicted himself on his "I don't see color" statement. Obviously, he must see color since he has a certain vision of what a Chicana must look like. My skin is fair and my hair is light but I am as much a Chicana as the next. Much like Anzaldua describes, I am caught between two worlds. Mixed race, Chicana, Mestiza, Latina. This is for me to choose and I should not have to be policed on it.